








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 911 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6109 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3317 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5081 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3666 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,360,589 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #19 | dastaN | 44% | 36 |
| #20 | CICIA | 44% | 96 |
| #21 | juggalo | 43% | 161 |
| #22 | DoMis FPS | 41% | 27 |
| #23 | ///Miko | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juggalo | 799 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | A little mefka | 695 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #3 | CICIA | 259 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | xxgigi | 250 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | dareczman | 181 | 0.16 | 5 min |





