








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4569 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5812 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4930 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5620 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,897 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slothrider | 55% | 89 |
| #2 | papapoLemin | 55% | 84 |
| #3 | Hipporider | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Cosy | 46% | 229 |
| #5 | Tigerrider | 44% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Saradon[AUT] | 21 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | strabian | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Tigerrider | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | AUT_Unicorn aka Kleini | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Cosy | 6 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cosy | 692 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Tigerrider | 412 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Juan Saradon[AUT] | 345 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | strabian | 313 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | papapoLemin | 310 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papapoLemin | +3.24 | 48 | 86 |
| #2 | Hipporider | +2.91 | 60 | 70 |
| #3 | Slothrider | +2.61 | 61 | 79 |
| #4 | LionRider | +2.32 | 51 | 66 |
| #5 | Tigerrider | +1.44 | 51 | 62 |





