








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4137 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3219 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2722 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3375 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $696,004 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grndhog | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | M0nstr | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Vulcan | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | ernie luckman | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | Envrt | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | crab champion | 50% | 18 |
| #11 | Big Mikey PuGz | 48% | 63 |
| #12 | FlYiN ElVI$ | 47% | 19 |
| #13 | noclue | 45% | 38 |
| #14 | AlmostTop500nOW2 | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vulcan | +3.23 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | seal | +2.66 | 84 | 74 |
| #3 | M0nstr | +1.58 | 74 | 50 |
| #4 | ernie luckman | +0.84 | 87 | 52 |
| #5 | johN | +0.48 | 80 | 52 |





