








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3196 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3535 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2399 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2523 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,908 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✧ 𝓣𝔂𝓶 ✧ | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | Pastis Curator | 53% | 95 |
| #3 | bladeur | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | LE BEAR | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | -RAamucho | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bladeur | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | LE BEAR | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | -RAamucho | 42% | 26 |
| #6 | Malavoine | 39% | 18 |
| #7 | LA CARTOUCHE | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pastis Curator | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | LE BEAR | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | -RAamucho | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ✧ 𝓣𝔂𝓶 ✧ | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | bladeur | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pastis Curator | 238 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | bladeur | 172 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | LE BEAR | 103 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Malavoine | 46 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | LA CARTOUCHE | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✧ 𝓣𝔂𝓶 ✧ | +2.55 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Pastis Curator | +1.22 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | RE!D | +0.84 | 56 | 70 |
| #4 | bladeur | +0.62 | 52 | 69 |
| #5 | LE BEAR | -0.64 | 69 | 56 |





