








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 831 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4420 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5523 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4258 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4578 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,090,465 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JIMMY | 133 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | La Blennorragie [FR] | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Xtra_c!D` | 97 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | {R.o.w} militairforce | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ❧ℳίℓү☙ TrUc | 43 | 0.03 | 1 min |





