








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 406 | 26% |
| Smokes | 434 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 284 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 420 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,204 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HexT | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | jeorgesnorts | 100% | 10 |
| #3 | josh シ | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | nosraC | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | br0 | 75% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nosraC | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | br0 | 75% | 16 |
| #6 | Sonic | 71% | 7 |
| #7 | XotiC | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | nick | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeorgesnorts | 5 | 0.0284 |
| #2 | br0 | 3 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | josh シ | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | br0 | 56 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | XotiC | 54 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #3 | jeorgesnorts | 50 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sonic | 45 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | josh シ | 24 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeorgesnorts | +7.31 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | HexT | +6.65 | 73 | 26 |
| #3 | br0 | +5.05 | 92 | 56 |
| #4 | Sonic | +5.01 | 91 | 77 |
| #5 | XotiC | +3.91 | 97 | 47 |





