








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 980 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1145 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 769 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,981 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | graphik_ | 47% | 106 |
| #4 | 574N | 46% | 108 |
| #5 | Teh Blueness | 46% | 132 |
| #6 | creggles2g | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | Tuatara99 | 44% | 9 |





