








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 960 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 723 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 155 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13654 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9771 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 12036 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8162 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,830,345 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1057 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bi[z]kit | 44% | 237 |
| #5 | kraeuti | 43% | 53 |
| #6 | THE KOSI | 43% | 137 |
| #7 | LoOna | 43% | 110 |
| #8 | bensen | 29% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sMi_1 | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | bensen | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Bi[z]kit | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | LoOna | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | THE KOSI | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sMi_1 | 397 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #2 | Bi[z]kit | 396 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | THE KOSI | 384 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | LoOna | 324 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | kraeuti | 305 | 0.26 | 8 min |





