








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 764 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 790 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4281 | 15% |
| Smokes | 8430 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 9686 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 7102 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,680,954 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIG JAM | 47% | 58 |
| #2 | Stiryx | 46% | 57 |
| #3 | PolarCatman | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIG JAM | 47% | 58 |
| #2 | Stiryx | 46% | 57 |
| #3 | PolarCatman | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PolarCatman | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | FIG JAM | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Stiryx | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIG JAM | 155 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Stiryx | 83 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | PolarCatman | 40 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIG JAM | +1.33 | 65 | 68 |
| #2 | PolarCatman | -0.25 | 54 | 50 |
| #3 | dybs | -0.31 | 64 | 69 |
| #4 | Stiryx | -1.43 | 51 | 54 |





