








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2430 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3058 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2023 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1698 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,911 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Kosaku | 48% | 21 |
| #9 | Zerano | 48% | 61 |
| #10 | dr.noluv! | 43% | 37 |
| #11 | superposchi45 | 40% | 83 |
| #12 | julez45🍌 | 30% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | superposchi45 | 390 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | julez45🍌 | 160 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gʟ!Ɲ ☕ | 126 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zerano | 87 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | dr.noluv! | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |





