








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2291 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1525 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1740 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,297,453 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bdN | 74% | 38 |
| #2 | zaK | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | MR | 59% | 58 |
| #4 | Meatball^_^ | 58% | 86 |
| #5 | dr. ew | 58% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Meatball^_^ | 58% | 86 |
| #5 | dr. ew | 58% | 74 |
| #6 | me3kz | 57% | 65 |
| #7 | tsereveyw | 56% | 225 |
| #8 | wdz | 52% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsereveyw | 42 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | me3kz | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | dr. ew | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Meatball^_^ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | wdz | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsereveyw | 666 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | wdz | 358 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | Meatball^_^ | 238 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | me3kz | 186 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | zaK | 169 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bdN | +4.51 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | zaK | +1.61 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | Meatball^_^ | +1.13 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | dr. ew | +1.12 | 77 | 55 |
| #5 | wdz | +0.76 | 55 | 77 |





