








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 189 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5530 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5127 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6454 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3892 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,620 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1650 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cal | 53% | 55 |
| #2 | Sprottenjunge | 51% | 132 |
| #3 | Lotte | 49% | 63 |
| #4 | DimDamDuweeh™ | 46% | 59 |
| #5 | /xsvetlanax | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cal | 53% | 55 |
| #2 | Sprottenjunge | 51% | 132 |
| #3 | Lotte | 49% | 63 |
| #4 | DimDamDuweeh™ | 46% | 59 |
| #5 | /xsvetlanax | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sprottenjunge | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | cal | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | /xsvetlanax | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Lotte | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | DimDamDuweeh™ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /xsvetlanax | 170 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lotte | 146 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sprottenjunge | 91 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | DimDamDuweeh™ | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | cal | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /xsvetlanax | +2.41 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | hotte | +1.02 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | Lotte | -0.27 | 60 | 48 |
| #4 | cal | -1.00 | 51 | 57 |
| #5 | Sprottenjunge | -1.74 | 48 | 55 |





