








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 456 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4170 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4486 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5788 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4072 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,609,629 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 648 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEESYA-A-RAN | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | iamgroot | 61% | 66 |
| #3 | EwanS | 59% | 73 |
| #4 | Epr0m | 56% | 118 |
| #5 | Jëdda ඞ | 55% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epr0m | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | GuFi¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | iamgroot | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | EwanS | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epr0m | 317 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jëdda ඞ | 184 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | CHEESYA-A-RAN | 177 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | iamgroot | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | GuFi¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 101 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuFi¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +3.19 | 96 | 44 |
| #2 | Epr0m | +2.35 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | CHEESYA-A-RAN | +1.26 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | will2am | +0.51 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | Jëdda ඞ | +0.02 | 62 | 64 |





