








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3869 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2973 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2820 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3418 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,476 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skruubz | 74% | 38 |
| #2 | Fredrick™ | 64% | 133 |
| #3 | Drawde | 62% | 186 |
| #4 | Droid xD | 61% | 95 |
| #5 | veronica | 60% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | veronica | 60% | 77 |
| #6 | 喜び | 59% | 41 |
| #7 | Oda Noboostnaga | 58% | 113 |
| #8 | Dibes | 50% | 70 |
| #9 | JAMEStheGREAT3™ | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oda Noboostnaga | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Drawde | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Droid xD | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | skruubz | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Fredrick™ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drawde | 654 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Oda Noboostnaga | 570 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | veronica | 296 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Fredrick™ | 265 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | skruubz | 256 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skruubz | +5.37 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | veronica | +1.20 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | Clutch | +0.92 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | Fredrick™ | +0.48 | 70 | 56 |
| #5 | Drawde | +0.39 | 76 | 60 |





