








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Renown | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2538 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3811 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2931 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2706 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,442 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Sash | 47% | 186 |
| #10 | Righardo | 45% | 224 |
| #11 | Baba Yaga | 43% | 138 |
| #12 | tertseli | 42% | 26 |
| #13 | TearTox | 39% | 18 |





