








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 621 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2194 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4080 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 2278 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,441 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Princess Relaxo | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Aldi SingleLadies | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | kalimbo | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | PangerLenis | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | N3k | 49% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf420 | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Gustav Goodstuff | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | messerschmitt | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | N3k | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | NYZA | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gustav Goodstuff | 466 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | Gandalf420 | 273 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | messerschmitt | 268 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | kalimbo | 248 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #5 | N3k | 238 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Princess Relaxo | +3.27 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | NYZA | +2.97 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | Gustav Goodstuff | +2.24 | 55 | 77 |
| #4 | Aldi SingleLadies | +1.36 | 86 | 67 |
| #5 | jAy | +1.17 | 61 | 55 |





