








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4659 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4394 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3914 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3187 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,518 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 613 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trigodak1ng1 | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | β₯60 π©π¦π³π΅π»β₯ | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | 'πΆπ·dicey | 64% | 73 |
| #4 | V1rUs2k | 60% | 100 |
| #5 | GhostVer1f1ed | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KneeGrow | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | V1rUs2k | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | GhostVer1f1ed | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | doge | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Trigodak1ng1 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V1rUs2k | 309 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | KneeGrow | 255 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | 'πΆπ·dicey | 240 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | doge | 146 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | β₯60 π©π¦π³π΅π»β₯ | 128 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'πΆπ·dicey | +3.74 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | β₯60 π©π¦π³π΅π»β₯ | +1.82 | 81 | 51 |
| #3 | GhostVer1f1ed | +1.56 | 90 | 51 |
| #4 | HellboY.fTw^ | +1.45 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | V1rUs2k | +0.87 | 78 | 54 |





