








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 527 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7508 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6104 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4939 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3212 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,080,154 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 644 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hovanec | 50% | 471 |
| #2 | Festus | 50% | 142 |
| #3 | Butters | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hovanec | 50% | 471 |
| #2 | Festus | 50% | 142 |
| #3 | Butters | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hovanec | 26 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Festus | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Butters | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hovanec | 1006 | 0.10 | 27 min |
| #2 | Festus | 716 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #3 | Butters | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Festus | +2.05 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Butters | +1.98 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | yourgirlfriendツ | +0.52 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | Hovanec | -1.05 | 55 | 63 |





