








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2518 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2437 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2031 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 719 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,049 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BangBangPewPew | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Stase | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | FlexxeN | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | illuu :3 | 47% | 107 |
| #5 | TESTING NEW MOUSEPAD | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Stase | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | FlexxeN | 47% | 74 |
| #4 | illuu :3 | 47% | 107 |
| #5 | TESTING NEW MOUSEPAD | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | Aurimas( ͜• 人 ͜• ) | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illuu :3 | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | FlexxeN | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Aurimas( ͜• 人 ͜• ) | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | TESTING NEW MOUSEPAD | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illuu :3 | 180 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | FlexxeN | 70 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | BangBangPewPew | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aurimas( ͜• 人 ͜• ) | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stase | 38 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BangBangPewPew | +5.61 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | TESTING NEW MOUSEPAD | +1.68 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | illuu :3 | +0.79 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | Aurimas( ͜• 人 ͜• ) | +0.46 | 80 | 74 |
| #5 | gxi | -1.41 | 47 | 66 |





