








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1912 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3666 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2367 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1168 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $546,651 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wooti | 53% | 194 |
| #2 | Cheese | 51% | 165 |
| #3 | Vakon | 48% | 223 |
| #4 | bufu | 47% | 269 |
| #5 | aRise | 46% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cheese | 51% | 165 |
| #3 | Vakon | 48% | 223 |
| #4 | bufu | 47% | 269 |
| #5 | aRise | 46% | 221 |
| #6 | Samsez | 43% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vakon | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Wooti | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | aRise | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Cheese | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Samsez | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bufu | 544 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Wooti | 344 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | aRise | 325 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | Cheese | 324 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Samsez | 293 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wooti | +1.77 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Cheese | +1.50 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | Merax | +1.50 | 55 | 57 |
| #4 | Vakon | +0.17 | 56 | 54 |
| #5 | aRise | -1.95 | 49 | 65 |





