








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Esplay | 51 matches | 1,915 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1966 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2180 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2256 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1973 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,208 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nem1s | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Majjki StorJægarN | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | WhiteDemoN | 53% | 91 |
| #4 | JukseFrøyd | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | magnus | 52% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhiteDemoN | +2.68 | 87 | 74 |
| #2 | magnus | +0.63 | 71 | 83 |
| #3 | nem1s | +0.42 | 48 | 69 |
| #4 | perzon | +0.30 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | Majjki StorJægarN | -0.15 | 60 | 65 |





