








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 593 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 494 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 195 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3915 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5887 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5089 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4374 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,577,395 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | md | 48% | 67 |
| #2 | less | 48% | 61 |
| #3 | CB - GTW | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | pacazera | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | мαŧŧєusFsм** | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | md | 48% | 67 |
| #2 | less | 48% | 61 |
| #3 | CB - GTW | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | pacazera | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | мαŧŧєusFsм** | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | md | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | less | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | CB - GTW | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | pacazera | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | md | 256 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | less | 212 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | pacazera | 89 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | CB - GTW | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | мαŧŧєusFsм** | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | мαŧŧєusFsм** | +2.01 | 64 | 33 |
| #2 | less | +0.55 | 35 | 73 |
| #3 | md | +0.27 | 43 | 71 |
| #4 | CB - GTW | -0.52 | 35 | 48 |
| #5 | mr.cabbage | -0.88 | 17 | 60 |





