








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1082 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1577 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1719 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1246 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,132,784 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zé | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Ginger Jesus | 51% | 74 |
| #3 | SamS | 49% | 128 |
| #4 | PsychedelicCombatWombat | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | Jinnger beard | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ginger Jesus | 51% | 74 |
| #3 | SamS | 49% | 128 |
| #4 | PsychedelicCombatWombat | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | Jinnger beard | 41% | 39 |
| #6 | MagicFass | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamS | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Jinnger beard | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Ginger Jesus | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ginger Jesus | 241 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | SamS | 220 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jinnger beard | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | PsychedelicCombatWombat | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zé | 75 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zé | +1.99 | 44 | 69 |
| #2 | Localhero | +1.16 | 60 | 52 |
| #3 | MagicFass | +1.06 | 47 | 65 |
| #4 | Ginger Jesus | -0.29 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | SamS | -0.59 | 41 | 60 |





