








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3676 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4184 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2937 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1789 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,432,787 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RespectableScumbag | 48% | 192 |
| #2 | Marty McSquirtz | 42% | 33 |
| #3 | Borsec | 40% | 30 |
| #4 | Skittles | 39% | 41 |
| #5 | WA GE | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Marty McSquirtz | 42% | 33 |
| #3 | Borsec | 40% | 30 |
| #4 | Skittles | 39% | 41 |
| #5 | WA GE | 38% | 48 |
| #6 | sk1z0 | 23% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RespectableScumbag | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | sk1z0 | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | WA GE | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Marty McSquirtz | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Borsec | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RespectableScumbag | 668 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | Skittles | 228 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | Borsec | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | WA GE | 48 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | sk1z0 | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borsec | +1.38 | 84 | 47 |
| #2 | RespectableScumbag | +0.34 | 56 | 63 |
| #3 | g | -0.12 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | Marty McSquirtz | -0.71 | 37 | 62 |
| #5 | sk1z0 | -1.68 | 42 | 48 |





