








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 646 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5462 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5768 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4517 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3858 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,679,217 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 458 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hari | 56% | 88 |
| #2 | K4m!K4zaa!! | 51% | 160 |
| #3 | empax | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | KneLe | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | notm0NESY | 40% | 321 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | empax | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | KneLe | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | notm0NESY | 40% | 321 |
| #6 | Aamiidzaa | 40% | 240 |
| #7 | cupra enjoyer | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notm0NESY | 38 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Aamiidzaa | 27 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | K4m!K4zaa!! | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | KneLe | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | empax | 4 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notm0NESY | 656 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | Aamiidzaa | 349 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | KneLe | 198 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | hari | 165 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | cupra enjoyer | 119 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akka | +3.50 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | empax | +1.67 | 74 | 76 |
| #3 | cupra enjoyer | +1.62 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | hari | +0.16 | 51 | 63 |
| #5 | K4m!K4zaa!! | -1.35 | 26 | 39 |





