








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11237 | 44% |
| Smokes | 4483 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6034 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3720 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,730,615 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joinus | 57% | 63 |
| #2 | pheer | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | Captain DR1V3R | 49% | 186 |
| #4 | torta hunter | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | ® 9centwhore | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joinus | 57% | 63 |
| #2 | pheer | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | Captain DR1V3R | 49% | 186 |
| #4 | torta hunter | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | ® 9centwhore | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain DR1V3R | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | torta hunter | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | joinus | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain DR1V3R | 590 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | torta hunter | 146 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | joinus | 138 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | pheer | 66 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ® 9centwhore | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m 【ツ】 | +1.32 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | pheer | +0.40 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | Captain DR1V3R | +0.08 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | joinus | -0.45 | 57 | 78 |
| #5 | torta hunter | -0.84 | 76 | 63 |





