








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 202 | 14% |
| Smokes | 410 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 698 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 95 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $386,300 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NicoKara | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | GoMu'lligan | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | Oga | 40% | 45 |
| #4 | Bapzzzz | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | Kek's | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GoMu'lligan | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | Oga | 40% | 45 |
| #4 | Bapzzzz | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | Kek's | 35% | 23 |
| #6 | ⚜︎𝐂𝐞́𝐬𝐚𝐫⚜ | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NicoKara | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Oga | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Kek's | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NicoKara | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Oga | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bapzzzz | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | GoMu'lligan | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ⚜︎𝐂𝐞́𝐬𝐚𝐫⚜ | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bapzzzz | +1.39 | 59 | 73 |
| #2 | Oga | +0.98 | 32 | 59 |
| #3 | Flochat | +0.49 | 21 | 35 |
| #4 | ⚜︎𝐂𝐞́𝐬𝐚𝐫⚜ | +0.14 | 39 | 19 |
| #5 | GoMu'lligan | -1.15 | 11 | 57 |





