








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 918 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2992 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2985 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3193 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2515 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $939,346 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 859 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BR14N | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | Secret Agent Randy Beans | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | macro | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | ricky | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | e t | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BR14N | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | Secret Agent Randy Beans | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | macro | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | ricky | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | e t | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BR14N | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | e t | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Secret Agent Randy Beans | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e t | 174 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | macro | 70 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | BR14N | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ricky | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Secret Agent Randy Beans | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macro | +1.04 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | ampEd | +0.61 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | e t | +0.04 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | ricky | -0.73 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | Secret Agent Randy Beans | -0.99 | 75 | 61 |





