








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 561 | 13% |
| Smokes | 730 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1857 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1163 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,360 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hemmungslos@ ChampagneShowers | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | Desima17 | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | Tommy Mittelfinger | 33% | 24 |
| #4 | PumbaDAce | 25% | 12 |
| #5 | S K Y F A L L ツ | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hemmungslos@ ChampagneShowers | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | Desima17 | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | Tommy Mittelfinger | 33% | 24 |
| #4 | PumbaDAce | 25% | 12 |
| #5 | S K Y F A L L ツ | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hemmungslos@ ChampagneShowers | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | S K Y F A L L ツ | 3 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hemmungslos@ ChampagneShowers | 73 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Desima17 | 38 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | PumbaDAce | 38 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tommy Mittelfinger | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | S K Y F A L L ツ | 25 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PumbaDAce | +5.10 | 67 | 39 |
| #2 | GandalfBlackRock | +0.78 | 48 | 53 |
| #3 | S K Y F A L L ツ | -0.56 | 74 | 54 |
| #4 | Desima17 | -0.86 | 36 | 64 |
| #5 | Hemmungslos@ ChampagneShowers | -1.34 | 33 | 59 |





