








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,355 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3924 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6225 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4466 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5740 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,288 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | transpoort | 50% | 182 |
| #6 | Mango | 50% | 308 |
| #7 | //Daniel S. | 48% | 228 |
| #8 | √Lena | 48% | 181 |
| #9 | WurzelUwe | 43% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | transpoort | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | WurzelUwe | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Mango | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | √Lena | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | //Daniel S. | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | 728 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | //Daniel S. | 442 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | transpoort | 262 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | WurzelUwe | 225 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | √Lena | 178 | 0.05 | 4 min |





