










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1611 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 672 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15334 | 37% |
| Smokes | 10288 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6630 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 9324 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,207,221 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2811 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleazy. | 54% | 224 |
| #2 | 🆂🆄🅻🆃🅰🅽 | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | geno | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | Clitten Mittens | 44% | 82 |
| #5 | Mana | 41% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 🆂🆄🅻🆃🅰🅽 | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | geno | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | Clitten Mittens | 44% | 82 |
| #5 | Mana | 41% | 140 |
| #6 | madman | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleazy. | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Clitten Mittens | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Mana | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | 🆂🆄🅻🆃🅰🅽 | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | geno | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geno | 416 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mana | 228 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sleazy. | 174 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | 🆂🆄🅻🆃🅰🅽 | 118 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | madman | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleazy. | +1.02 | 42 | 48 |
| #2 | madman | +0.66 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Clitten Mittens | +0.42 | 36 | 51 |
| #4 | PuSH | +0.22 | 33 | 81 |
| #5 | geno | +0.03 | 61 | 69 |





