








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 897 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 237 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




173 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2109 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2520 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2474 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,733,759 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 816 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artarac | 48% | 77 |
| #2 | t4ks | 48% | 123 |
| #3 | shockONE-` | 47% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artarac | 48% | 77 |
| #2 | t4ks | 48% | 123 |
| #3 | shockONE-` | 47% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t4ks | 15 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Artarac | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | shockONE-` | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shockONE-` | 379 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | t4ks | 274 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Artarac | 149 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t4ks | +1.51 | 40 | 72 |
| #2 | Fresh Fabi | +0.64 | 31 | 28 |
| #3 | shockONE-` | +0.52 | 46 | 56 |
| #4 | Artarac | -0.10 | 41 | 59 |





