










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2009 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 638 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9080 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4688 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6430 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3932 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,120,087 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1072 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elkantar | 41% | 64 |
| #2 | gab | 32% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elkantar | 41% | 64 |
| #2 | gab | 32% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elkantar | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | gab | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gab | 283 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | Elkantar | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gab | +2.35 | 76 | 77 |
| #2 | Mathieu | -0.73 | 52 | 65 |
| #3 | Elkantar | -0.84 | 34 | 53 |





