










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2215 | 27% |
| Smokes | 971 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1898 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3255 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $745,457 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Phil MaCooter | 37% | 190 |
| #8 | PawN | 36% | 140 |
| #9 | Earth_Angel | 34% | 32 |
| #10 | Aethereal | 33% | 108 |
| #11 | Summer | 32% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phil MaCooter | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Aethereal | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | PawN | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Summer | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | nursemratched | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phil MaCooter | 534 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | PawN | 163 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Aethereal | 116 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Summer | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Earth_Angel | 67 | 0.11 | 2 min |





