








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1621 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1399 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1866 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,857 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Queen Eruption ☻ | 43% | 177 |
| #5 | Real Eyes Realize Real Lies | 42% | 71 |
| #6 | Wea | 39% | 28 |
| #7 | RotniV | 39% | 111 |
| #8 | ThreeSquad | 36% | 11 |





