








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 514 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3515 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4585 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4379 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3339 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,262,260 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psyched Poke | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | .#mk1 | 62% | 65 |
| #3 | WolfTheCat ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | GorG | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | Deagl0r | 57% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 43% | 35 | ||
| #18 | blackmoustache | 42% | 26 |
| #19 | Dodo | 38% | 21 |
| #20 | onehit | 38% | 40 |
| 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deagl0r | 5 | 0.0030 |
| 4 | 0.0055 | ||
| #3 | MAC | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Maennerabend | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Mario | 2 | 0.0012 |





