








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3546 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6873 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6693 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4327 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,422,398 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Safe | 43% | 67 |
| #12 | SanDau# | 43% | 40 |
| #13 | JT | 40% | 73 |
| #14 | Slambert[DK] | 40% | 43 |
| #15 | Thomas :-) | 39% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomas :-) | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | SanDau# | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | JT | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Pixie | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Pippi | 3 | 0.0043 |





