








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 580 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11541 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7610 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8691 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6302 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,537,568 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | hegger | 47% | 297 |
| #10 | STFN | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | Trax | 44% | 54 |
| #12 | Sehrex | 44% | 41 |
| #13 | QNNN | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hegger | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Propagandalf | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Schnap-π | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | backup | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Boxheader54 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hegger | 1399 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #2 | Schnap-π | 410 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | backup | 365 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Boxheader54 | 293 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Propagandalf | 265 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #deViL | +1.72 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | kirito-san | +1.36 | 72 | 73 |
| #3 | Propagandalf | +0.46 | 65 | 75 |
| #4 | Trax | +0.40 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | hegger | +0.26 | 70 | 69 |





