








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 389 | 25% |
| Smokes | 333 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 574 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 263 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,942 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jnszki | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Shades | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Majkoe. | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | 19Sasha | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | BloodTrail | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BloodTrail | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | Max533 | 22% | 9 |
| #7 | FAZE 0-3 RIO MAJOR | 0% | 4 |
| #8 | GeilBefKutje | 0% | 4 |
| #9 | Hans | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 19Sasha | 7 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Shades | 3 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | Majkoe. | 1 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | GeilBefKutje | 1 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 19Sasha | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | Majkoe. | 26 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | jnszki | 25 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | BloodTrail | 12 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Max533 | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 19Sasha | +3.16 | 65 | 46 |
| #2 | Shades | +2.94 | 83 | 15 |
| #3 | Max533 | +1.63 | 84 | 66 |
| #4 | jnszki | -1.10 | 46 | 57 |
| #5 | Majkoe. | -1.95 | 47 | 72 |





