








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 301 | 27% |
| Smokes | 295 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 304 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 220 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,914 of utility $333 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djabber | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | Monk | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | Bone | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Chadzzy | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | cheek | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | BENN | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | Dax | 33% | 3 |
| #13 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷R aphaeL✵ | 33% | 3 |
| #14 | Jack | 25% | 4 |
| #15 | Tappo | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheek | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | djabber | 1 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | DaT | 1 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chadzzy | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | cheek | 25 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Lib` | 22 | 0.37 | 0 min |
| #4 | djabber | 19 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | BENN | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djabber | +3.27 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | DaT | +3.09 | 91 | 70 |
| #3 | Chadzzy | +1.24 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | Bone | +1.12 | 73 | 49 |
| #5 | BENN | +0.30 | 83 | 62 |





