








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 34% |
| Smokes | 544 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 711 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 168 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $55,286 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stoeffl | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | luke | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Earthberrytree ツ | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | scheibe | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | .xtn | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝗺𝘂𝗹𝘃𝟮𝟭 | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | .xtn | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | .RoҲҳ™ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Svið | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .xtn | 143 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | PlebCleb | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | .RoҲҳ™ | 71 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Svið | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝗺𝘂𝗹𝘃𝟮𝟭 | 45 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luke | +4.51 | 72 | 77 |
| #2 | scheibe | +2.61 | 91 | 54 |
| #3 | ulumulu from the city | +1.55 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | .xtn | +1.46 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | stoeffl | +1.26 | 43 | 91 |





