








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5212 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5149 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2953 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2499 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,019 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | njay | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Nomad | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Eminence | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | CHRiSTPH | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | MaNiAc | 52% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Eminence | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | CHRiSTPH | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | MaNiAc | 52% | 126 |
| #6 | cmill | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | sYn | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaNiAc | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Eminence | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | njay | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | CHRiSTPH | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Nomad | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cmill | 240 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #2 | MaNiAc | 212 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | sYn | 160 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Eminence | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nomad | 64 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sYn | +1.97 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | njay | +1.77 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | Eminence | +1.18 | 70 | 51 |
| #4 | Exempt | +1.14 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | cmill | +0.32 | 63 | 73 |





