








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4173 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2966 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2629 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2146 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,579 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Game Genie-^- | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | `Struggles | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | kinson | 49% | 70 |
| #4 | Zabba | 48% | 121 |
| #5 | storm | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kinson | 49% | 70 |
| #4 | Zabba | 48% | 121 |
| #5 | storm | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | RyanDabbleU | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | Emyt | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Game Genie-^- | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Zabba | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | kinson | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | RyanDabbleU | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | `Struggles | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `Struggles | 172 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Game Genie-^- | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zabba | 142 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | kinson | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | storm | 68 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wARD | +1.56 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | Game Genie-^- | +0.29 | 57 | 69 |
| #3 | `Struggles | -0.25 | 55 | 80 |
| #4 | storm | -0.37 | 40 | 64 |
| #5 | kinson | -0.39 | 56 | 63 |





