








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4239 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3814 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3337 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2391 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $503,974 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOx | 46% | 179 |
| #2 | skEuD | 46% | 322 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOx | 46% | 179 |
| #2 | skEuD | 46% | 322 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skEuD | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | NOx | 14 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skEuD | 530 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | NOx | 115 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOx | +1.19 | 83 | 46 |
| #2 | Laizer ❟❛❟ | +0.64 | 58 | 61 |
| #3 | skEuD | -0.77 | 68 | 49 |





