








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1109 | 30% |
| Smokes | 983 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 977 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,033 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keTo | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | SaikNrOne | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Minijan | Et tu Brudi?! | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Moxarella | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Möhre | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minijan | Et tu Brudi?! | 113 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | SaikNrOne | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fire | 70 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Möhre | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | key3 | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Möhre | +2.31 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | keTo | +2.04 | 58 | 61 |
| #3 | SaikNrOne | +1.48 | 64 | 73 |
| #4 | Fire | +1.46 | 34 | 53 |
| #5 | Moxarella | +1.33 | 69 | 66 |





