








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 717 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 855 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5374 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3078 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4831 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1406 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,433,715 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 589 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autokomanda[BG] | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | Baya. | 58% | 107 |
| #3 | dzman | 54% | 149 |
| #4 | eXon シ | 53% | 57 |
| #5 | _HitmaN_ | 48% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Autokomanda[BG] | 66% | 59 |
| #2 | Baya. | 58% | 107 |
| #3 | dzman | 54% | 149 |
| #4 | eXon シ | 53% | 57 |
| #5 | _HitmaN_ | 48% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dzman | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Baya. | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | _HitmaN_ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | eXon シ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Autokomanda[BG] | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dzman | 483 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Baya. | 334 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | _HitmaN_ | 155 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | eXon シ | 102 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Autokomanda[BG] | 24 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baya. | +1.20 | 50 | 62 |
| #2 | eXon シ | +0.92 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | _HitmaN_ | +0.75 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | dzman | +0.39 | 56 | 77 |
| #5 | Autokomanda[BG] | -0.78 | 57 | 65 |





