








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1274 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3168 | 11% |
| Smokes | 6044 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 11469 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 7422 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,275,137 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiEnD | 56% | 109 |
| #2 | ItsCorbs | 49% | 178 |
| #3 | JIN | 48% | 101 |
| #4 | WOLFCULT | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | CHILLI CON CARNE: Harold Holt | 45% | 339 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiEnD | 56% | 109 |
| #2 | ItsCorbs | 49% | 178 |
| #3 | JIN | 48% | 101 |
| #4 | WOLFCULT | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | CHILLI CON CARNE: Harold Holt | 45% | 339 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHILLI CON CARNE: Harold Holt | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | ItsCorbs | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | FiEnD | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | JIN | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHILLI CON CARNE: Harold Holt | 1245 | 0.18 | 36 min |
| #2 | ItsCorbs | 758 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | WOLFCULT | 305 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | FiEnD | 203 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | JIN | 119 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHILLI CON CARNE: Harold Holt | +0.57 | 34 | 67 |
| #2 | JIN | +0.40 | 49 | 52 |
| #3 | -_Niko_-[❀] | +0.36 | 57 | 39 |
| #4 | ItsCorbs | -0.22 | 37 | 63 |
| #5 | FiEnD | -0.32 | 48 | 71 |





