








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2170 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2229 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1940 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1290 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,610 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smileyface ツ | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | db | 57% | 56 |
| #3 | mositcake | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | ♚LuSs♚ | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | GRAHN | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mositcake | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | ♚LuSs♚ | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | GRAHN | 51% | 43 |
| #6 | NudeL | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | ArlukarT ~ Eyedea lives forever | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | db | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | mositcake | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | smileyface ツ | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | db | 220 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | GRAHN | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | mositcake | 117 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♚LuSs♚ | 104 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | NudeL | 97 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pew | +2.59 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | GRAHN | +2.11 | 63 | 66 |
| #3 | ♚LuSs♚ | +0.38 | 68 | 64 |
| #4 | NudeL | +0.14 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | db | -0.23 | 79 | 68 |





