








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 931 | 32% |
| Smokes | 941 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 454 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,187 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coookkiiee | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Mr. Lykke | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | DONk3Y | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | BangeeDK | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | curzey | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coookkiiee | 99 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | khalannz | 34 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #3 | curzey | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | BangeeDK | 21 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr. Lykke | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |





