








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 777 | 29% |
| Smokes | 484 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1102 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 325 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,672 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ten Dogs | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | RePeL | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Seqo Billy Valentino | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | Joshua | 40% | 15 |
| #11 | VoidUpdate | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrpattyyboyy (clutch enthusiast) | 14 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | ONE DUDE | 5 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | BIG SALTIE | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Joshua | 4 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Ten Dogs | 3 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrpattyyboyy (clutch enthusiast) | 117 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | BIG SALTIE | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | ONE DUDE | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bot SALTIE | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | $QU34K3R | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot SALTIE | +4.38 | 90 | 53 |
| #2 | Joshua | +4.04 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | BIG SALTIE | +2.98 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | ONE DUDE | +2.93 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | Mrpattyyboyy (clutch enthusiast) | +1.69 | 63 | 63 |





